|(To the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree”)|
Oh, pumpkin pie! Oh, apple pie!
How filling and caloric!
Oh, chocolate cake! Oh, breakfast bake!
How fatteningly tragic!
Once I was slim in summertime,
but now I’m lost in food sublime.
The treats are everywhere and I’m
much tempted by their magic!
Oh, cookies sweet! Oh, fudge complete!
It seems a shame to waste it!
Oh, crackers, cheese!
Oh, roll-ups, please!
Can hardly wait to taste it!
Once I had a trim waistline,
but now my tummy’s over-dined.
My tummy aches, and yet I pine
for turkey when I taste it!
Oh, taco chips! Oh, chocolate chips!
I snack on dough, pot-licker!
Oh, topping whips! Oh, veggie dips!
I’m eating more and quicker!
My toes are lost—below the sight
of belly weight much over height!
Yes, Weight Watchers
will know my plight,
I know I’m getting thicker!
Oh, high fat foods! Oh, season’s moods!
We have such great traditions!
More calories! More drama, please!
And each year more ambitions!
Our houses clean—with much decor,
Our families loving, evermore,
Our children grateful, pleased for sure,
And charities’ fine missions!
Oh, red and green commercial scene!
It’s everywhere! With caroling!
Would I be mean to ask for lean
when I eat out while shopping?
Do you suppose that Auntie Grace
would get her nose bent out of place
or Grandma B would lose some face
if they tried lower fat on something?
Oh, what if I could give a try
to eat less food this season?
Still have some treats,
but waaaay less eats,
is this committing treason?
I’ll still enjoy the season’s joy,
but skip the fats that do annoy.
I’ll miss the high caloric ploy—
My health is a good reason.